Modern medicine helps to live long life. Do you agree?
The modern medicine is very important for living long life. It is depend on new technology. People take very easy and quickly. Also modern medicine is very quick absorbing to human body. It is helps to back to normal for people health condition. Therefore I agree that the modern medicine is helps to live longer.
First of all, the modern medicine can prevent incurable diseases. Doctors can find some diseases very early. Then doctors can give suitable medicines for patient. New modern equipments are helps doctors is going to correct way. Also intelligent people in the world live long life on helps from modern medicine. That is very important in the human society because their creative things are coming with them and they can help to others long time when they are living in long life with comfortably.
Beside, old population is increasing in the country. It is badly effect in country economy and especially for third world countries. But old people are very important in human society because their experience definitely helps to living safely and planning to new project. ?Experience is better than qualifications? However, old people are living long life; it is helps others to live long life because we can get advice from them and they are covering our culture and society.
Moreover, modern medicine is being addictive for some people, so that they can not live without medicine. They should take medicine all their lives. Also modern medicine is very expensive. Therefore most of poor countries couldn?t take modern medicine and it has taken commercial shape also it is depending on money. In the modern medicine have not facts of human kindness. People who they have money they can take modern medicine. But indigenous medicine has well human friendly shape. It has not depended on money.
To summarize; in my personal view, modern medicine is helping live long life with comfortably. Modern technologies are being supported to find unburnable diseases very early. So doctors can take correct path immediately. Therefore, may I not hesitate to agreed the above mention statement.
Your essay has confusing sentences, where your meaning is unclear.
You mix advantages and disadvantages of modern medicine in one paragraph when you should divide them ? put advantages in one and disadvantages in another.
If you agree with the statement, you should have 2 paragraphs supporting your opinion and one supporting the opposite opinion, in your essay it is 2 against and 1 for.
The structure of sentences and the grammar are not very good. Try to read more essays of Bands 6 and 7 to see how you can improve your writing. Read more tips in IELTS-blog and “Ace The IELTS” or “Target Band 7″ e-books.
تمامی حقوق مادی و معنوی این اثر متعلق به وب سایت آموزش خصوصی زبان انگلیسی بابک عبادی است و در صورت استفاده از آن نام آموزش خصوصی بابک عبادی و ذکر لینک www.english-ebadi.com را فراموش نکنید.