سه شنبه 30 شهريور 1400.
امروز :

IELTS Essay, topic: Financial education

Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

 

In many countries the discussion about the rising financial problems of young people has got more into focus. Tough some people are voting to integrate financial education as a schooling subject.

 

The key problem for many young ones is that they don’t know how to use and spend money in the right way. The “get what you want mentality” is advertised all over in the public media and it looks like some people think that living with interest fees is normal. Though financial problems in young life are very common with the result that it is difficult to learn how to spend money appropriated. The main idea of teaching a financial subject must be to explain about a balanced budget and that interest fees could ruins one future.

 

But this is just one side that has to be considered. For me, the main question is why dose parents cannot give the right advice to their kids? To give such a personal subject in the hands of government and school is a lack of the key tasks that parents have: to be a good role model.

 

Moreover it should be considerate that the social effects of talking about money and finance in a social diverted school class can be harmful for some students. In my opinion it is more important to teach parents about their responsibilities as a role model and educate private topic in a safe and private environment.

 

All in all I think the main task of public institutions should be to educate about common subjects and not to give such personal advice like the use of money.

 

This essay is not bad. It has the right structure – 5 paragraphs and covers the task. The paragraphs can be improved – make them similar in size, 2nd paragraph is too long compared to the 3rd . The grammar and spelling need some attention and the linking words could be used more elegantly, the details are in the comments underlined in blue. Overall, looks like a Band 6.5 essay.

 

Click here to see more IELTS essays of band 6

 

 

 

www.ielts-blog.com

 

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